If u is reading this then u is an idiot coz u don't have to!

If u is still reading this my name is Lee Nelson and I'm a massive legend. I live in London and I done a TV show on BBC called Lee Nelson's Well Good Show. Over 500 million people watched it and it was such a success that I banged 62 birds. Since then I've been doin some relaxing and going out.

If u didn't see the series then I'm sure someone from China will sell u a copy.

Now I'm travellin around the UK doin live shows in places I ain't never heard of. It's full of stuff that was too funny for TV and it's for people out of London who don't have TVs.

My best mate Omelette (he done the BBC show with me) was going to be travellin with me but he couldn't make it coz he was too fat to get on the train. What a legend!!!